To Make Susannah Love Me
by Mediatorgrrl
Summary: Jesse's musings while thinking of our favorite mediator. Set a little bit after Haunted. ONE SHOT SONG FIC! Rascal Flatts's Song inside!


Okay, I popped this one out in about ten-fifteen minutes. I'm not really that proud of it, to be honest. And I'm not just trying to be modest, I really don't like it. I mean, it's okay. I've written better. It is really short. It isn't very descriptive... yeah, I know all this stuff... so you don't have to berate me in the reviews! lol

Okay, diclaimer time: I don't own the Mediator series. Well, I own a copy of the series, but I don't own the rights. I own the thoughts going on in Jesse's head. Maybe by extension I own Jesse, but I highly doubt it. I don't own the _rights_ to the Rascal Flatts' song, To Make Her Love Me, or their newest CD, Me and My Gang; although I do own a copy of the CD. And it's not even burned _or _downloaded, I bought it! Yeah me! Well, actually I got it for Easter, but yeah.

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**To Make Her Love Me**

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I knew I shouldn't have kissed her. I really did. It wasn't like I had been debating whether or not to kiss Susannah in my mind. My head and arms just proceeded on their own accord to take Susannah in my arms and kiss her.

She had been babbling on about not wanting to talk. She seemed panicked at the thought, so I told her we didn't have to talk.

Seeing her in that hellish place she calls Shadowland… thinking she was dead… possibly because of me. I couldn't have let myself go on. I would rather die a thousand horrific deaths than have her die once in peace.

_**You waved your hand and it was done  
So let it be and there it was  
A mountain, so high, it broke through, the sky  
A canyon, so deep, it'll bring a man to his knees  
**_

God created everything. He spoke what he wanted and it was achieved. He moved mountains and parted seas. He created the heavens and the sky. What was so hard about making a girl love me? Is that selfish to ask? He made everything in this world, why not love for me?

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I've seen what you can do  
I've seen you make miracles and hopeless dreams come true  
You've made the heavens and the stars  
Everything, come on how hard  
Could it be, To make her love me?  
**_

I've read the Bible along with all the scientific books I have finished. The spirit over me gave a blind man sight. He made a man rise from the dead. If God created everything… created the first man and woman… provided the strongest love of all… why couldn't Susannah feel that about me? It would be selfish to have her love someone who could not bestow upon her gifts and a house and chidren.

_**I've said some things I shouldn't have  
Tried everything to win her back  
I'm human, I messed up, is she gone? Are we done?  
Forgiveness, another chance, that's all I want, it's in your hands  
**_

I shouldn't have called her querida. It was far too forward and if she were ever to find out what it means, she would surely slap me. After holding her that night she confessed everything about Maria, I thought in the morning she would surly be angry with me for holding her so close to my body. I must ask forgiveness for kissing her so presumptuously. She shouldn't be in love with me, in the first place. _It is in your hand, Lord_… I prayed silently. But now I wondered if he hears me. Has he _ever_ heard me? He has left me on this earth for over a hundred and fifty years to be alone and helpless. But He brought me Susannah. The most wonderful woman anyone could hope to know. He left me on this earth not needing to breathe, but he makes me feel. He makes me feel the hurt and pain from love. After all these years of hell, I finally had someone to talk to… to love…. If only she loved back. Is that so hard? He left me on this earth not needing to breathe, but he makes me feel. He makes me feel the hurt and pain from love.

**_I've seen what you can do  
I've seen you make miracles and hopeless dreams come true  
You've made the heavens and the stars  
Everything, come on how hard  
Could it be, To make her love me? _**

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Yeah, okay. There it is. If you don't like it... well, I don't blame you! lol Okay, if you want, hit the review button, if you don't... okay then too! lol

I should have the 4th chapter of _Jesse's Past_ up soon. Hopefully by tomorrow night. Now, that is a story that is maybe worth reading. This one isn't as good. lol Probably because Meg Cabot wrote all the dialog on _Jesse's Past_. I just added Jesse's thoughts.

Love,

MG


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